


A Lion's Guide To Getting The Badger

by whatthefuck



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hales, Hogwarts AU, M/M, Oblivious Stiles, Pining, of the mutual sort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-07 01:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3154931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthefuck/pseuds/whatthefuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is no way he, Stiles Stilinski, is going over to the Hufflepuff table to ask Derek Hale to the Yule Ball. Not only is he a glorious seventh year to Stiles' measly fifth, but he could have any member of the student population of Hogwarts on his wonderfully toned arms in three weeks time, so why would he pick Stiles?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lion's Guide To Getting The Badger

**Author's Note:**

> My headphones have gotten stolen/lost, so to make up for it, I wrote something nice for myself.  
> Please let me know if there are any mistakes.

"Just do it, Stiles," Scott sighs.

"What? Do what?"

Scott gives him a 'don't play stupid' look, and really, that hurts because Stiles is not stupid, and only Lydia Martin reserves the right to give him that look. He knows what Scott's talking about, to be fair. But there is no way he, Stiles Stilinski, is going over to the Hufflepuff table to ask Derek Hale to the Yule Ball. Not only is he a glorious seventh year to Stiles' measly fifth, but he could have any member of the student population of Hogwarts on his wonderfully toned arms in three weeks time so why would he pick Stiles?  
Scott sighs, before he starts to rise from his seat in front of Stiles. "Merlin's beard, Stiles, if you don't ask Derek Hale out right now I swear i'll do it for you."

Oh shit. Fuck. Damn you, Scott McCall. 

"What the fuck, man. We're supposed to be friends!"

Scott stops rising, before replying with a timid, "Huh?"

"Super hearing, you werewolf dick!"

Scott looks up meekly. "oops?"

"Don't you dare 'oops' me, Scott. Sit the fuck back down you are staying with me until my body decomposes and you have to drag it out of the grand hall you are not leaving me here with the eyebrows!" and really, at this point, Stiles knows his whisper shouting really isn't helping anyone; Professor Flitwick's giving him funny looks from across the hall. He kicks at Scott's calf, making him hit the bench with a thud. "Oh, great, and now everyone's looking at us. Seriously, Scott?" and then ignores Scott's "hey!" in protest. 

He risks glancing up at Derek, who seems offended but also a little bit angry. 

"You forgot, man! How the hell could you forget? Oh, god, he heard it all and now he's going to kill me and then leave my body here to decompose." He lets his head fall to the table next to his plate, lifts it a few inches, and then lets it drop again.

He was actually looking forward to dinner; after skipping lunch earlier on, Stiles' stomach grumbled so loudly in potions that Harris had given him a detention for it, and all he wanted was to sit down and enjoy the food in front of him like a normal teenage boy. He realises there's no way he is going to make it out of this alive. He hasn't even been allowed to enjoy his last meal. 

"Stiles," Scott calls to him, making him look up at his no longer best friend. No, he is not being childish, his life hangs in the balance. 

"Stiles, please. Allison's waiting for me down by the lake. It's the only time i'll be able to see her until tomorrow, you know our schedules hardly overlap and-"  
And Stiles? Stiles knows he can't keep Scott from his perfect, perfect romantic life. No matter how much he tries, he can't seem to stay angry at his friend for too long. It's a lost cause anyway; now that he's said her name, Scott has entered Allison Land and there is no way Stiles will be able to communicate with him now. He's left practically defenseless. 

Fuck it, new plan. 

Stiles needs to leave. Now.  
\---  
It's been three days since the incident, and he's taken to running in the opposite direction every time he sees any of the Hales. He's only seen Derek once, and ended up tripping a bunch of third years down the stairs. Purely by accident, of course; not to cause a diversion or anything so he could escape. 

He's in the library now, with Scott, Allison, and Lydia; the last of whom is also reminding Stiles that is has been three days. 

"Come on, the worst he could do is turn you down. But, I doubt that'll happen, Stilinski. I can no longer stand your whining so you need to do something about it. Now." Lydia doesn't even look up as she speaks to him, instead focused on one of the heavier tomes she's reading from the restricted section. He has not been whining. He just happened to mention Scott's failure at being his best friend, twice. Because Merlin knows there's no way he can say anything bad about his friend when those puppy dog eyes and crooked jawline are being directed his way. Scott knows exactly what he's doing, the evil bastard. Just for the sake of it, he turns to Scott to glare at him.

Allison laughs at his attempts, before she says, "Stiles, maybe Derek likes you too. It wouldn't hurt to ask, you know? Surely it's better than having Cora trying to hex you every time you come across her in lessons?" While that's true, because Stiles is still unsure as to why he's suddenly on Cora Hale's radar, and what he's done wrong to make her so angry, there's no way he's going to allow himself to be embarrassed a second time. 

"Nu uh, nope. Not doing it."

Lydia does look up at him now, as she hisses that he better "shut the fuck up and ask Hale out" before she locks them in Harris' supply cupboard together.

"I'm not doubting your talents Lyds, really, i'm not, but have you seen the muscles on that guy? There's no way you're moving him anywhere, let alone in to a teeny tiny box of a room with me in it."  
Lydia glares at him. 

"Oh come on! I've had a crush on him for two years, Lydia. Another year or two won't do anything. I'll just sit here and let it disappear. Which it will do. Eventually."

"Absolutely not, Stiles. You are going to do something about your horrid obsession with Derek. Do not argue with me about this."

He closes his eyes, and lets his head drop to the pile of books stacked up neatly on the table in front of him.

"I don't want to fuck it up, Lyds. I get one chance at this and I've already ruined it. He probably hates me. You've seen what those eyebrows do when he sees me. It's practically murderous." he sighs, letting the air move a wisp of hair on his forehead. He opens his eyes and stares at the dents in the table instead, made from years of use by students scratching their quills on parchment, crude drawings stained in to the wood. "I don't think it's just a crush, anymore. But, it doesn't matter, because why would Derek Hale, the human embodiment of perfection, want anything to do with a scrawny loser two years his junior?" 

"Well, generally, it's because the human embodiment of perfection happens to like the fifth year who looks a bit scrawny." replies Lydia, with a much deeper voice than her usual tone. 

Wait.

Stiles startles, flailing his arms in an effort to right himself, which causes the books he was leaning on to drop to the ground. He looks up, hoping with all his might that he is imagining Derek Hale sitting in Scott's seat, because if that traitor has abandoned him again he will truly be demoted to acquaintance- no, to peasant beneath Stiles' shoes.  
Derek smirks, but otherwise he doesn't look fazed at all, which frustrates Stiles a little. He stares at Stiles, one arm on the table in front of him and the other supporting his head as it rests next to Scott's Potions essay. How dare this wonderful specimen come and talk to him without any warning, when everyone and their neighbour knows Stiles is a social mess.  
Hang on a minute, back up here. 

"..HAPPENS TO LIKE- WHAT ?!" Stiles splutters, unable to form any real words, unable to breathe properly because Derek Hale, Derek. Hale. Just admitted to liking him. 

"Are you going to ask me or not?" Derek questions, looking as relaxed as Stiles has ever seen him. Stiles looks around the library, just to make sure this isn't a prank, before returning his gaze to Derek.

"Do you- are you sure? I mean, I overheard a sixth year saying she wanted to ask you, and she looked really pretty, and not so clumsy and like-"

"Yes, Stiles. Now, hurry up." Derek says as he rolls his eyes. 

"Alright, fine, stop rushing me." 

Derek narrows his eyes. 

"Jesus Christ, those eyebrows," mumbles Stiles, and watches Derek raise an eyebrow, almost as if he'd heard him.

Oh. 

Werewolf.

Stiles coughs, "Right, well. Derek, would you like to possibly, maybe, if you want to, accompany me to the Yule Ball?"

"Ye-"

"Only if you want to!" Stiles shouts, jumping up from his seat opposite Derek. 

"For fuck's sake, Stiles. YES. Now, get over here."

"Yes. Yes? Yeah, okay." He gets up, and on wobbly knees makes his way over to Derek, who reaches out to grab Stiles by his red and gold striped tie.

"What on earth do you think you are doing!? Out. OUT! Get out of my library!" comes a sudden voice from behind Stiles, and Derek stands so fast the chair behind him falls, as does he, on to Stiles chest. Stiles, himself, a measly 147 pounds is totally not capable of carrying the weight of that delicious body, and so they both end up sprawled on the floor in a somewhat compromising position, at the feet of one Irma Pince. 

"Shit." moans Stiles.

Derek groans, before he rolls off of Stiles and for a moment Stiles really misses the warmth, before he remembers that, hell yes, this warmth is his forever, he literally has a werewolf boyfriend. The sudden realization has him scrambling to his feet after Derek and grabbing his hand, as he swerves out of Madam Pince's way to get to the library doors. He drags Derek with him, ignoring his protests about essays and schoolbags. His friends can deal with that. He raises his middle finger at said friends on his way out. Stiles knows now that both Lydia and Allison were still in the library with Scott,watching his interactions with Derek. Creeps. 

Derek stops him in the corridor, by the staircases, with a tug on his hand. Which is holding Derek's. He's holding Derek's hand. Holy shit he needs to write to his dad. Maybe not about what's going to happen to him right now, though,he thinks, as he leans in to the kiss, a chaste press of mouths that has his feet curling and his mouth tingling. At some point he closes his eyes, enjoying the feel of Derek pressed against him, from hip to chest. He brings his arms up to wrap around Derek's neck, and curl in to his hair, as Derek's hold him at the small of his back. Stiles feels like it's the only thing anchoring him to the ground right now, otherwise he could have easily flown away. He kisses Derek until he can no longer function without any oxygen; once they break apart, Derek looks a bit disorientated. Stiles knows he probably doesn't look much better.

"So, uhmn.."

Derek takes a few moments to respond, but eventually rolls his eyes and says, "So, what was that about my eyebrows?"  
Which was not what Stiles expected him to ask, at all. He reaches his hands up from where they were resting at Derek's neck, allows them both to frame Derek's face. He rubs them against his stubble, just because he finally has the permission to touch Derek's so, so manly beard. He lifts his thumbs up to brush against Derek's eyebrows, too. "Personally, Mr Hale, I think they're very sexy eyebrows. Slightly intimidating eyebrows, but sexy nonetheless." He smirks at Derek, and then leans up on his toes to place a light kiss on Derek, just above his cheekbone and as close to the left eyebrow as he can get. He then turns and walks away, in the opposite direction of where he should really be going, considering the Gryffindor common room isn't this way, but he's not going to turn around now, and give Derek that satisfaction. He has to keep cool. "I'll pick you up, then?" He asks, turning his head back slightly to watch Derek, who's still standing at the top of the staircase.  
It's like a light has been switched on in Derek, who runs towards him, and grabs Stiles over his shoulder in a fireman's carry,"Listen here, Stilinski. I'll be picking you up from outside the Gryffindor common room for the Yule Ball, understood?" he says, as he starts to walk back in the direction of the staircase, and climbs the steps still holding Stiles to him.

"But, I asked you...and put me down, you barbarian!"

"Absolutely not, you'll start running in the wrong direction again."

Fuck. Well, at least he tried.

"Besides, i'm not taking you back to your common room yet. It's a Friday, curfew isn't until 10, and I would very much like to spend the next 4 hours making out with you." Stiles doesn't reply, too mesmerized with the sway of Derek's butt as he climbs the stairs. He wants to reach out and grab those cheeks. Or just pinch them. His hands are right there, Derek's butt is right next to them, it's destiny; it cannot be stopped. He's going to do it.  
Derek squeaks, a sound he never expected the guy to make, and jolts on the step at the top of a staircase, before grabbing on to the handrails.

"Stiles! At least wait until we get to the room of requirement!"

"Huh?"

"You weren't listening to a word I was saying, were you?"

"Nope, you have a really nice butt."

"I suppose the distraction of the butt stopped you from hearing about the making out part?"

"making OUT?! Let's do that why are we even still here on these stupid moving stairs move move move!" he shouts, swinging his body in haste to make Derek move. Derek wobbles again, before he sighs and lets Stiles down on to the landing.

"No! carry me!" Stiles pouts, making grabby hands at Derek.

"So demanding." Derek mumbles, and then lifts Stiles into a bridal carry. 

Stiles will deny it to his dying day, regardless of what Derek says, when he's lifted, he does not shriek like a four year old at a pet store. He doesn't. He's just surprised, alright? Derek could have at least warned him, the dick. 

OH, the dick.

"Stiles, that's really distracting and I would like for you to stop, please. I've got another three flights of stairs to go without that distracting me."

"What? I didn't do anything. No butt pinching in public, I promise. Well, at least for now."

Derek huffs, before he adjusts his hold on Stiles. "No, you moron, stop thinking bad thoughts. I can smell it."

"No way! Scott never said you could smell arousal. What does it smell like? No, wait, what do I smell like?"

"Like teenage boy."

"Nope, don't believe you. Try again."

"You're not going to give up, are you?"

"You know what you smell like to me?" Stiles asks, before pushing his nose in to Derek's shoulder.

Derek looks down at him, and tilts his head towards Stiles. "As far as I know, you're not a werewolf."

"Correctamundo, but it's like, the essence of Derek Hale or something? I don't know, it's weird." His voice is slightly muffled, nose still squashed against Derek's firm chest.

"Okay, tell me, what do I smell like to you?"

Stiles knew Derek wouldn't be able to resist. He's only spoken to him properly a handful of times before this, and it was mostly Stiles rambling and Derek glaring, so that doesn't really count as conversation, but Stiles has learnt a lot about Derek in that small period of time, and one of those things is that Derek loves knowing things. He's quite like Stiles in that way, both in need of a fill, to gain knowledge. Despite the fact that the two of them have rarely conversed, Stiles feels like he's pretty much in love with Derek Hale, because this is way worse than what he felt for Lydia during his second year.

"Like the forest, specifically Pine needles, and leather, why do you smell like leather? I don't know, it's weird. You smell a bit like me, and I can't really describe the 'me' smell. But that's kind of hot, and also a little bit more than a bit weird. Do I seem like a weirdo to you now? Man, you must be so freaked out, sorry, shit, i'm sorry."

Derek doesn't say anything in response. Instead he let's Stiles down from his arms, and Stiles knows when he's being rejected alright, he's been through it enough. Derek's turning away from him, and pushing at a door. He clearly wants to be left alone. So Stiles starts to turn in the direction of the Gryffindor common room, and hey, would you look at that, they're on the seventh floor. 

"Stiles? Come on."

He turns to Derek, who's waiting for him at the entrance to the door.

"Really? Oh. yeah, I mean, sure,"

"Wait," says Derek, and holds his arm out to stop Stiles from walking in. "Are you having second thoughts? Stiles, we don't have to do anything you don't want to, I just want you to know that."

"No! No, man. I'm all for the whole sexing business, although we don't have to sex immediately, like I don't want us to rush when we have the rest of our lives, and wow just please shut me up."

Derek chuckles, before pushing him in to the room. The room of requirement is beautifully lit, made to look like a cozy living room, but is spacious. 

"Can we have a bed, instead?"

Derek splutters and Stiles quickly adds, " I mean- Purely for lying down reasons, it's comfier."

And so, the room adapts to their needs, the couch and table fade away, leaving instead a large bed with a hanging canopy which drapes across the floor.Stiles jumps on to the bed, and lies down on one side, before patting the other for Derek to join him.

"I know you said we were going to make out for hours and stuff, which i'm all for, like you would not believe how much i'm for it, I have been dreaming about this day for months, years, but could we get to know each other a bit first?"

Derek looks down at him almost fondly, dare he say it, as he climbs on to the bed to lie down next to Stiles. "We'll do whatever you want, Stiles. Anything you want."

"Okay, let's do 20 questions?" He waits for Derek to nod his head, before he asks, "Why do you smell like me?"

"Merlin, there's no beating around the bush with you, is there? It's because you're my mate."

"That explains absolutely nothing."

Derek sighs, his body sinking further in to the mattress."You know what i'm talking about, Stiles. You did enough research when Scott was bitten, don't pretend you didn't." He lifts his arm up to place it under his head, and the other rests on his stomach. He stares up at the ceiling, waiting for Stiles to respond.

" I understand perfectly well about mates, and while i'm absolutely livid you didn't tell me about this before, we'll let it slide for now. You still haven't explained why you smell like me."

"When I first figured it out, my wolf wouldn't stop trying to get to you. It was so frustrating. On the full moons, I had to stay in the shrieking shack, on weekends, when you came down to the hall and ate breakfast at lunch, I just wanted to pick you up and carry you back to bed. I told Laura about it, and she suggested to Cora, without informing me first, that Cora 'borrow some of your clothes' to keep my wolf in check. She took your quidditch gloves in your third year, and two of your scarves last year, and a month ago she told me she wouldn't take anything else, because it was making me lazy, and stopping me from going after what I wanted. You."

"So, what? Do you use my clothes to masturbate or something? the scent gets you-"

"What! No, Stiles! I sleep with them. Actually sleep with your scarf. It, I guess it just stuck to me. Our scents mixing together is the only thing that helps keep my wolf sated."

"You mean, like this?" Stiles asks, and sits up on the bed,swings around and hooks his legs around Derek's waist, and tumbles down on to his chest to rub his nose against Derek's throat.

Derek moans, really loudly. He cuts himself off, "My turn, would you like to go on a date with me?"

"I thought that was a given?"

"Of course, but I just wanted to ask officially."

"Well then, Officially, yes."

"And Unofficially?"

"Unofficially, do you have to sex me up after the date or can you do it before?" Stiles asks, grinning as he rocks his hips in to Derek's.

"I suppose I could."

"Derek Hale, romantic sap at heart."

"Only for you."


End file.
